covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize