She's JV to your varsity
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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