Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
