Quick, to the slutcave!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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