Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
