im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
