i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
