I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
