Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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