Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
