Welp...herpes.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
