The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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