I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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