Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
