All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
