He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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