A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
nutella sex= disaster
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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