A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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