Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
