he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
