just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he fucked my hip out of place.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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