I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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