and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
