Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
