youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
