I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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