I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
