She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
