And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
