Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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