I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
