There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
