this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
