i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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