Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
