those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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