terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
