He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
