i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
