Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
