I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We need to get me chipped asap
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
