note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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