marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
