your thong is hanging out like whoa
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
