oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
