You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
