the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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