Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We left an ass print on the piano.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
