You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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