what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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