When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
