Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
