apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
