it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
