So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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