Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
