When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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