i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
