is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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